16 Classic Russian Jokes

Russian humor can be difficult to understand even if you speak fluent Russian. This is often because many Russian jokes play on cultural stereotypes, political events, popular culture, and Soviet-time movies. Russian jokes are called Ð °Ã ½Ã µÃ ºÃ ´Ã ¾Ã'‚ and have a unique history. The first Ð °Ã ½Ã µÃ ºÃ ´Ã ¾Ã'‚Ã'‹ came to Russia through the European tradition of telling interesting, often funny stories. They were popular in the aristocratic circles and eventually developed into the classic joke similar to those in the West. However, these jokes took on a very political slant during the 70 years of the Soviet era. This unique perspective allowed for the development of an unusual, specific Russian humor characterized by its themes of political or cultural relevance. Soviet Jokes About Political Leaders Imgorthand / Getty Images Soviet political leaders provided a lot of material for new jokes, especially Stalin, Brezhnev, and Khrushchev, due to their odd or funny behavior as well as the paradoxical and claustrophobic nature of the Soviet life. 1.Thats enough of messing around, said Brezhnev, gluing his eyebrows under his nose. 2. Brezhnev is speaking at a party meeting. Who said that I can only speak when I have the speech in front of me? Ha, dash, ha, dash, ha, dash. 3. - Do you have a hobby, Leonid Ilyich?- Of course! I collect jokes about myself.- Have you got many?- Two and a half labor camps already! Jokes About Everyday Soviet Life Life was difficult in the Soviet Union, with stores often displaying empty shelves and politics generating a high level of stress and suspicion. People were painfully aware of the lack of things that were considered completely ordinary abroad. All production was done within the country and everything was grey and clunky compared to what was being produced in the West. People responded by coming up with jokes that played on the contrast between life in the Soviet Union and life elsewhere. 4. Two cassette players meet up. One is Japanese, the other is Soviet-made. The Soviet one says:- Is it true that your owner has bought you a new cassette?- Yeah.- Can I have a chew? 5. - What would you do if they opened the borders?- I would climb a tree.- Why?- So I dont get killed in the stampede. Jokes About Contemporary Life in Russia 6. They caught Bin Laden. Washed him, gave him a haircut, turned out it was Berezovsky. 7. A factory worker in a Western country shows his house to his Russian colleague.- Heres my room, this one is my wifes, this is my eldest daughters, thats our dining room, then the guest bedroom... etc.The Russian guest nods and says, after a pause:- Well, its basically similar to mine. Only we dont have the internal walls. New Russians Jokes Arndt_Vladimir / Getty Images New Russians appeared in the 1990s, after the fall of the Soviet Union, as the Russian nouveaux riches. They quickly became the subject of many jokes due to their lack of culture, education, and manners, as well as their garish tastes. New Russians were usually depicted as low in intelligence and reliant on money to solve everything. 8. Two New Russians are driving in a Jeep and see a sign Traffic police - 100m. One of them takes out his wallet and begins to count the money. Then he sighs and says You know what, Vovan, I dont think we have enough for a hundred cops. 9. A New Russian says to an architect:- I want you to build three swimming pools: one with cold water, one with warm water, and one without any water.- Why would the third one not have any water?- Cuz some of my friends cant swim. Jokes About Lenin Andrei Vasilev / Getty Images Just like other political leaders, Lenin has been the butt of many Russian jokes. His character traits, his manner of speech, and his post-death stay at the Moscow mausoleum are all popular topics. 10. A tired father of six comes home after a night shift. The kids surround him and demand to play. He says:- Okay, lets play a game called Mausoleum where Ill be Lenin and youll be the guards. 11. A journalist interviews Lenin.- Vladimir Ilyich, how did you come up with the slogan Study, study, and study?- I didnt come up with anything, I was just trying out a new pen! Jokes About Lieutenant Rzhevsky Lieutenant Rzhevsky is a fictional character in a play by Aleksandr Gladkov and the movie based on the play, The Hussar Ballad. Possessing both negative and positive character traits, Rzhevsky became a popular subject of Soviet jokes after the release of the movie. Although the original character is not that much of a womanizer, it is this trait in particular that dominates the jokes about him. Interestingly, the jokes usually also feature Natasha Rostova, one of the main characters of Tolstoys War and Peace. The reason for this is that while Rzhevsky represents a vulgar, highly sexualized military man, Natasha Rostova depicts the more traditional ideals of a woman as seen in Russian culture as a demure and charming character. The contrast between them creates plenty of opportunities for jokes. 12. Natasha Rostova is at a ball.- It is terribly hot in here. Lieutenant Rzhevsky, perhaps we could open something?- With my greatest pleasure! Would you prefer champagne or cognac? 13. - Chaps, Im so tired of the same old card games! Why dont we go to the theatre instead? They are putting on Three Sisters.Lieutenant Rzhevsky:- This is going to work out brilliantly! There are three of us, too! Jokes About Little Vovochka STUDIOGRANDOUEST / Getty Images Equivalent to Little Johny, Little Vovochka originated in the early 20th century as a nameless little boy who would shock others with his vulgar behavior. Eventually, the little boy became Little Vovochka as an ironic homage to such leaders of Russia as Vladimir the Great and Vladimir Lenin. More recently, Vladimir Putin also joined the ranks of the Vovochkas. 14. A teacher asks:- Children, who has a pet at home?Everyone raises their hands and shouts out Cat! Dog! Hedgehog!Little Vovochka raises his hand and says Lice, ticks, cockroaches! 15. Little Vovochka decided to become president when he grows up. And he did. Jokes About Chapaev Chapaev was a celebrated Russian army commander during the Russian Civil War. After a Soviet movie was made about him in 1934, Chapaev became a popular subject of Russian jokes. His sidekick, Petka, is usually present in the jokes, too. 16. Petka asks Chapayev:- Vassily Ivanovich, can you drink half a liter of vodka?- Of course!- What about a full liter?- Sure!- How about a whole barrel?- No problem, I can drink that easily.- Can you drink a river of vodka?- Nah, I cant do that. Where would I get such a giant gherkin?

Principles Of Health A Healthcare Worker It Is Important...

Alexandrea Atkins Principles of Health Science- 7th period 10 December 2015 As a healthcare worker it is important to understand and respect all religions. Workers should know about all the religions and the religion that their patents is apart of. So they don’t ever offend their patents. There are many religions that are in this world that are being followed now. Buddhism, Islam, and Roman Catholic are just three out of maybe 4,200 religions in the world. Just because there are so many religions doesn’t mean that there are not very many that follow. Buddhism was founded in the late 6th century B.C.E. by Siddhartha Gautama which they called the â€Å"Buddha†. There is so many days that are held throughout the year for this religion. Most of†¦show more content†¦The truth of suffering (dukkha), the truth of the cause of suffering (samudaya), the truth of the end of suffering (nirhodha), and the truth of the path that frees us from suffering (magga). Also the eightfold path which was a path to nirvana, comprising eight aspects that which an aspirant must become practiced. Right views, intention, speech, action, livelihood, effort, mindfulness, and concentration. No infants were baptism, but have to have the infant presentation. When death came, they believed in reincarnation. A buddhist priest must be present at death and the last rites were chanted at bedside immediately after death. Autopsy, cremation and organ donation were an individual’s choice but wasn’t mandatory or prohibited. Cleanliness is a very important to maintain health. As the health care part, a person suffering was an inevitable part of life, and illness is the result of negative Karma. 0.7% of the religions in the USA is Buddhist. Islam was founded in 622 CE by Mohammed, chief prophet, when the god revealed the book Qur’an to him to prove mankind and for guidance. You could not touch or place anything on top of the holy book. Their holy day of worship is sunset Thursday to sunset Friday. Fast during daylight hours in month of Ramadan and during other religious holidays. Their prayer rugs were sacred. Dominate culture associated was the middle eastern. The islamic tradition was to recite the creed in on version or another. They believe that there is one

Fall Of Rome CCOT Essay Free Essays

Rome fell due to a plethora Of reasons such as economic instability and succession issues. However, a major factor that contributed to the fall of Rome was the invasion of the Germanic tribes. The Germanic tribes were outside invaders who attacked the borders of the Roman Empire and created political disruption which inevitably lead to the fall of Rome. We will write a custom essay sample on Fall Of Rome CCOT Essay or any similar topic only for you Order Now In 200 CE, Rome was at its height. But after the fall of Rome, Europe turned to feudalism. After the fall of Rome in 476 CE, Europe socially stayed the same. In 200 CE, Rome was socially stratified, meaning that it was hierarchical with people in different classes. At the top were the king and his patricians. Then, there were the nobles. Subsequently, there was the merchant class. And finally, at the bottom of the social hierarchy, there were the common people who included freed men and women, and slaves. Rome was also patriarchal, meaning that the father or man in a family or clan was supreme. In other words, men were superior to women. Thus, women were oppressed in Rome during this period. After the fall of Rome in 476 CE, when Europe turned to feudalism, Rupee’s social structure virtually stayed intact. However, women’s lives did slightly get better probably because their roles increased as economic conditions worsened. They were most likely needed more often to keep up the barter economy and care for the children and household. Thus, they would have higher roles. Rome flourished politically in 200 CE. The Roman Empire was large and in it was a very strong powerful bureaucracy. Under this empire and bureaucracy, power was centralized and the empire was stable. The Roman law code assured a safe and civilized environment. Also, the empire contained a vast, strong military to protect the region from outside invaders. After the fall of Rome, this region experienced major changes. There was no longer a Roman Empire. Instead, this area turned into feudal Europe as the political system. There was no longer a king, bureaucracy, or someone at the top Of the hierarchy, and so, power was decentralized. The church rose to fill in this gap of leadership and stabilize this Mediterranean area. Politically, very little dated the same because there was no longer a Roman Empire but rather a feudal Europe. Europe probably turned to feudalism because it had no other option now that the political system collapsed. This area desperately needed to regain stability or otherwise turn to anarchy. As a result, Europe would have established a feudal system to prevent that from happening. Economically, agriculture and trade were the basis of Roman economy in 200 CE. They traded with surrounding regions which increased revenue for the Empire. They were also involved in long distance trade with China through he Silk Road. This allowed them to enjoy more luxuries such as silk that they could not create themselves. Overall, they had fair flung trade. After the fall of Rome, this area saw many economic continuities and changes as it struggled to cope with worsened conditions. A major continuity was that farming and agriculture remained crucial. Trade shrank and became a barter economy which was one of the changes that took place. Some other changes include a more localized economy since cities shrank. Trade also shrank because there was no more long distance trade with the Chinese. Manorial rose and guilds Were developed. Economically, this Mediterranean region experienced changes and continuities alike as a result of the fall of Rome. Agriculture probably remained the basis of economy because it is unlikely that people would abandon their traditional farming techniques which began sedentary life in Europe first of all. Trade would have shrunk because chaos within the country made it very unlikely that they would be connected to foreign countries through trade. They had to get themselves in order before they could do business with other places. Finally, cities shrunk as a direct result of the fall of Rome and could only be reinstated after stability in Europe was restored. Moreover, the political transformation of the fall of Rome in 476 CE contributed to social, political, and economic continuities and changes in the cultures of the Mediterranean region during the period be;en 200 CE and 1000 CE. Socially, there were still distinct social classes and a patriarchal society but women enjoyed more freedom after the fall of Rome than they did before because their roles would have increased in order to keep up with he barter community. How to cite Fall Of Rome CCOT Essay, Essays